because it brings me back to you
by blacksatinpointeshoes
Summary: After Westchester, Logan finds friendship in an unexpected place: Dr Minerva Halltomine, saved from the rest of the X-Men's fate by a well-timed vacation. For years, Logan and the good doctor entertain a rocky coexistence, jumping from place to place. But when Laura Kinney arrives in their little hideaway, Minerva and Logan will be forced to prepare for one last last fight.
1. Chapter 1

I - prologue

It's been a while.

In some ways, Minerva had become used to the monotony. The heavy air that coated their little hideaway had settled into her hair and dust had slipped between her pores. It was always the same. Work in the city. Ride home with Logan. Fight with Logan. Rant to Caliban. Wait for Logan to apologise, like he always does. Pretend like the meds that she's been stealing from the hospital are still enough. Know that they aren't. Know that they're all running out of time and ignoring the signs anyway.

And then Laura. Laura was different. Laura made their lives something again. Minerva had been so eager to jump into that car and ride away, from one border to another. Logan accused her of just needing a purpose again, but his words were so tired Minnie couldn't help but wonder if he wanted a purpose, too.

She's aging. Almost 50 now. She's a far cry from the twenty-one-year-old, brand-new teacher that Logan met at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters so long ago. She still looks good, but there's a maturity in her dark eyes. Doctor Minerva Halltomine is getting older.

They weren't friends for so long, anyway, until after Westchester. It was just a fluke that Minnie wasn't at the school when it happened. She met Logan in a coffee shop afterwards, all sun-tanned from her vacation. They sat there for a long time, the last two X-Men and their grief, and pretended that everything was okay.

Then they moved. Minerva found a job at a hospital and treated Charles under a fake name for as long as she could. They were found out – of course they were. Somebody wanted Charles's brain for something. Minerva and Logan weren't perfect, but they were the kindest caretakers Charles Xavier would receive for the rest of his life.

So they fled to El Paso. Another hospital, another fresh start. Minerva started stealing, passing it off in miniscule amounts and waiting until they had enough for a dose. She was careful. She got good. She could lose her license for this and by then, who knew what would become of them?

Caliban came to live with them in that little house right across the border. Logan started driving – at first he drove Minnie to and from work in that fancy Chrysler 24, and taxi'd around the rest of the city during the day. Then the more profitable rides came in at night so Minnie bought her own car, and they pretended like nothing was wrong. Like Logan wasn't coming home later and later with scrapes and bullet wounds and whiskey on his breath. They don't talk about it.

They stopped talking about anything, really.

Caliban is a provocateur. In some ways Minnie appreciates it. He doesn't let Logan get away with shit like she does, but she's always had a soft spot for that gruff old mutant anyway. Caliban is bitter and smart and Minerva can't help but like him. Sometimes, when she and Caliban sit down for a cup of tea, Minerva sees Logan watching from the doorway until he catches her eye. Then he leaves. They don't talk about that either.

Really the only time they speak is at night. They aren't together but they're not… _not_ together either. A while ago, Logan's nightmares got worse so he practically threw her out of the room, growling at her, waiting after the door slammed to see if Minerva would come back. She didn't come back. Logan doesn't really sleep anymore.

But she knows how to deal with that part of him better than anyone. She's been doing it since Westchester like an instinct. Because Minerva is a mindwalker, a blink-and-you'll miss it influence that feels so good when she's in your head. Like you want to be doing what she wants to do. It's calming. Logan can't help but trust her, and he hates it.

But even still as their daytime interactions are strained, Minerva knows him. She knows his moods and his insomnia. She is there when he needs her most. And he can't stand to rely on her.

That's where they are now. So yeah. It's been a while.


	2. Chapter 2

II – part one

Minerva sits in the front seat of the now-beat up Chrysler as they ride, avoiding Logan's gaze. Charles is sitting behind her and Laura sits behind Logan. The four of them look like a family. But none of them speak. There is ice that can be broken so easily but none of them are willing to pick up the axe.

It's been a while. It's the same thing she thought the moment she slammed the car door and yelled for Logan to "just drive, dammit!" It's been a while since they've had an adventure like this. It's been a while since tensions have run this high. It's been a while since Minerva has been around a child.

They're coasting through the open road. Logan's hand tightens on the wheel, fists clenching. She catches the motion, angles her face to watch him. Logan's whole body is tense. Minerva waits.

"St'p it," he grunts in her direction, the words coming up with a few hoarse coughs rattling through his body. She can hear the ache in his chest. Minerva just keeps watching him for another few moments. She pretends it's because she is enigmatic and mysterious. Really there is just a lump in her throat and she doesn't know what to say.

 _"Stop_ 't –" Logan tries again, but the words are stolen from his mouth by a coughing fit longer than the last, shoulders shaking. The noise is ragged and almost whistling, desperate, the first only prompting the need for the second and so on. The sound that ends it is half groan and half whimper.

"You sound like shit," says Minerva evenly, reaching out across the space between them to touch Logan's wrist. He bats her away and the car swerves, prompting Laura to snap out of her sleepy lull in the backseat.

"I'm fine." They both know he's lying.

"Sure."

Minerva settles back down into her seat and shuts her eyes and suddenly Logan needs to keep her talking. It's been too long since they've spoken, _really_ spoken, the way they used to. It's like talking to a stranger now.

"Min –"

There is a long silence.

"So it's 'Min' again, is it?" she asks. Her Southern accent is liquid and smooth. From the backseat, Charles chuckles. Logan sends him a dirty look and Minerva's hand steadies the wheel. "Eyes on the road, bud."

"Fuck you."

"It's been a while."

Logan makes a noise in the back of his throat and shifts his hands on the wheel. "We have a long way to go," he says, voice straining. "And we need a new –"

Minerva's hand finds his shoulder, massaging circles into the taut muscle almost subconsciously as Logan leans forward, heaving with coughs more urgent than before. "Car," she finishes as he wipes at his watering eyes. "We need a new car."

Logan clears his throat again. "Yes."

 _"You_ need rest, Logan," Minerva murmurs, just loud enough to be audible across the front seat. "You can't keep up like this."

"I'll be fine," he says, voice gruff as ever. His eyes are trained on the road and Minerva knows he's lying.

"When was the last time you slept?" she asks, quiet and deliberately provocative. Logan's hands clench on the wheel.

"Drop it."

"When was the last time –"

"I fucking said drop it, Minerva!" But he can feel her eyes on his skin. They prickle like the tips of a barbed wire fence pressing into his chest. "I don't remember."

"Logan."

"I said I don't fucking remember, okay? It's –" The sentence cracks into rising coughs. They sound bad, painful and popping like gunshots. Minerva sees him wince, his hands tremble. She stays silent.

Logan sighs, heavy and tired. "I don't remember."

"Your cough hasn't gotten any better either." She changes subjects like a car switching lanes.

"What, are you going to grill me about every single fucking thing that's gone wrong lately?" he growls in return. "It's worse because of the dust. That's all."

"Sure."

Logan's chest shakes and he raises an arm to cough into his elbow again. "I know what's going on, Min."

"Then let me treat you," she says, and their argument is an old one. "I'm a doctor. It's what I do."

"Christ, Minerva –"

"At least let me drive," she implores him, and there is a warmth in his body that Logan knows is the tell-tale sign of her mindwalking. She is stirring up his head. He doesn't want to resist.

He pulls over and the two of them switch sides. Logan falls asleep in the passenger seat the moment they hit the road.

The truth is that as much as Logan will try to pull away, Minerva will come back. Because the same way he pulls away from people, she is determined to take care of those who don't want or need her help. It gives her purpose. It helps her cope.

 _They match like that_ , he supposes before the black sheet of sleep swallows him whole.


End file.
